The Art of Conversation

 

A couple of nights ago I was having a very stimulating conversation with a man who was very passionate about changing the world. His intentions were wonderful, he wanted to make it so as a species we were more sustainable and happy as a collective. As great as his heart’s intention was, he wasn’t communicating it very well; if anything, I felt like I was being told what to do. How can we make sure we are getting our message across without offending anyone else in the process? Given ‘changing the world’ is seemingly a very complicated topic, I wanted to discuss what we can do to get our messages across to one another so we can put our ideas into action!

Step one:Listen
We’ve all met people who are passionate about what they have to say, but there is definitely a difference between those who are listening and those who are not. Personally, I can tell when someone is imitating the form of listening, but actually just waiting for their next turn to talk. There is a tremendous beauty in considering what someone else has to say, because there is always a new perspective we can learn and grow from. When someone else is talking, the Universe is saying something to you through another facet of yourself; if you’re in the conversation with someone you might as well hear their side as well.
Note: this may include putting aside what we believe to be true from our perspective to be able to fully take into consideration what the other is saying.

Step two: Come from a place of understanding
Everyone has different perspectives.. duh! We all have unique memories, opinions, and ways of viewing the world through our subjective experiences. When in a conversation with someone we must understand what their heart is really trying to say; they may just have a different way of saying it than you would. This can actually be the most satisfying and fun element to the art of conversation. Really delve into that person’s perspectives, really grasp the meaning of what they are saying and/or doing. The element of compassion and understanding allows us to speak equally.


A lot of times step one never is completed because each party seems to be forcing their opinion on the other. If there is desire to truly understand the other person’s message, your hearts can communicate peacefully instead of needed to yell in order hear each other.

Step three: Ask questions
In my opinion, asking questions is one of the most expansive tools out there. The differentiation between humans and other higher-cognitive functioning mammals is our ability to ask, “why”. When in a conversation with someone, the best way to combine the above steps is to ask, ask, ask.

Strive to dive deeper! Maybe a certain question had never come to that person before you asked and now you have given them the gift of a new perspective. In the example given earlier, I had to ask many questions to really get to the bottom of what he had to say. He was so passionate he would almost speak to me, and not with me. By asking questions I was able to bring him into my perspective, as well as the others in the room. By the end of the night, we both realized we were talking about the same things and we both had many of the same goals. Without delving into his remarks, I could have easily brushed him off as a condescending and close-minded person; which was definitely not the case. What a shame of a misunderstanding that would have been!

One last thing to consider is changing the world involves raising our conscious-awareness as a collective. How can we do that if we aren’t really hearing what each other are saying through a compassionate and understanding view? The best way to match up with someone’s heart and allow them to feel safe and heard is by asking questions. Ask away! By asking and following through with understanding and love, we are literally bringing more awareness to our present moment.. and sharing it! How wonderful.

My question for you is: what’s a new perspective you have learned from someone else recently?

With love,

Morgan

Comments

  1. The web, web sites, and specifically secarh, has made a huge difference for PowerCore in 10 ways.1: Leadership communication. In 1994 there was a policy that one of the Officers had to have a fax. (One!) As of two years ago we don’t have a single Member who doesn’t have an email address. (Tom Bunch!)2: Marketing. Listing PowerCore meetings in the calendar sections of the little local newspapers has always been effective. Now we do that online with ten times as many opportunities.3: Member recognition. The ability to let the world know when a Member is noteworthy extends their influence and credibility particularly when prospects are secarhing on their name.4: Endorsement letters. While we’ve known the power of endorsement letters for generating additional business for years, putting one on the wall is a one-off compared to posting it online, where, again, it’s a secarhable differentiator.5: This Referral Trigger opportunity. We’ve known the power of Referral Triggers for several decades adding the opportunity to answer here, and have that answer automatically show up on a Member’s profile page, to refresh the content, and to give prospects a deeper understanding of their business, is a huge value add.6: Find A Team. With 36 Teams, and four more in the planning stages, secarhing through this website for available seats has become realistic for future Members, and Jason has plans to make that process even slicker like, for instance,7: Substitute list. Incredible what we’re able to do with this online secarh feature. The computer knows the day each Team meets, the classifications filled in each Team, and prints a current, at this minute, list of potential Subs. Yowza. What a benefit. (Thanks again, Jason.)8: Registration. We’re all busy the ability to secarh for and sign up for Orientation, InfoMinute Seminar, Officer’s Training, and other extras is a huge benefit to Members and to Katrina as she prepares the materials for these events. (We used to have to do this by phone. We often logged more than 60 calls a day. yikes.)9: Extra knowledge. The opportunity to do things like the glossary, and the Mentors Forum (Look for it in the Members’ Center column) gives Members a fast, comfortable, private way to learn answers that will make a difference to them in referrals.10: Connection. Though spiders have made the web an easy target for spammers, Jason dealt with that by taking our email addresses off the web, but still giving us a way to email people from their personal profile page, and get a copy ourselves to prove it went out. Nice not to be the target of people with nothing more profitable to do.Notice that referrals aren’t on my list of 10.While people might do business with someone they’ve found by secarhing,we still refer to people we know.Which means that weekly 7am meetings are still the primary way PowerCore brings benefit to Members.Wendy L. KinneyPowerGeneratorDesk: 404-816-3377Email: Wendy PowerCore.net

  2. Gabriel says:

    Thank you so much! it has been very useful C:
    keep going please (:

  3. This really helped me today. I have been at odds and in conflict with a colleague for some time. I tried taking this simple step – and it worked.

    Thanks guys.

    x

    • Morgan Riestis says:

      Awesome Angel! So glad to hear it. If you don’t mind me asking, what aspect helped you the most in your situation?

  4. rita linn says:

    non violent communication (nvc) has it all (rosenberg).

  5. Matthew Henke says:

    This hits me right where I live.

    No seriously, as someone who’s used to talking -at- people when explaining something, these are super-useful insights for me.

    The oldest-brother-of-three-boys in me loves to talk talk talk all day long—I should be a radio show host!

    It’s when I’m in conference with others, though, that I can get carried away and pretty soon I’m rambling and everyone’s rolling their eyes at me.

    Thanks much, Morgan! Can’t wait for relaunch!

    Much love and appreciation,

    Matt

  6. Tamara Sakuda says:

    Well I will be sharing this essay with my students next week — very well said!

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