Any emotion or perspective can be transformed into one of greater understanding (less fear) through the gradual stages of self-awareness. Imagine yourself born in a cave, with only one candle. This candle is the lens in which you are able see the cave, at this point you know nothing else. There are others sharing this cave with you, but due to the size of the flame often times there is lack of awareness toward their presence. Are we ever really alone, or do we just feel alone?
Loneliness is a state of mind
I can recall several times in my life feeling utterly lonely in a room full of people, which drives me to suggest that being alone physically is not the only catalyst for such a feeling of isolation.
Let’s put ourselves back in the cave analogy. In this scenario, we can view the mind as the stage of awareness with the least amount of light available. We’re talking tea-light candle.
Understandably, the mind is forced into a constant state of conflict and fear because it can barely see anything in such a dark place. (Please note that without this instilled discontent, we would not strive toward the progress of discovering the rest of the cave..the mind always gets such a bad rep.) The mind existing and viewing the cave in such a fashion is not the problem, the issue stems from when we get trapped in the illusion that the shadow is all there is. All the mind is able to see is the shadow of itself on the cave wall, causing the illusion of separateness.
Upgrading to a lantern
When battling with the feeling of loneliness, we succumb to the belief that we are not part of the whole pulsing picture; the mind creates the illusion of a deep disconnect between ‘ourselves’ and the ‘other’. By understanding the illusion of separateness, we can move past our fears and begin to comfort the part of us that has been limited to a ‘tea-light’ perspective.
Earlier I mentioned being able to transform a perspective into one of greater understanding. By formulating time to ourselves that encourages self-reflection, one can embrace the art of being alone. This way we are able to find self-sustaining sources of happiness that do not rest on the foundation of illusion. The more we bring the delusion of separateness into our awareness, the more we are able to use our time alone in a productive manner. This maturity process of being alone transforms a once threatening feeling into one of solitude. This may be the scariest step, but by differentiating this misunderstanding we now have the ability to carry a ‘lantern’ perspective around the cave and explore.
We are in the process of a conscious evolution. Now is the time to thank the mind for doing its job and continue on a path toward a more liberating perspective. Now is the time to find the light within ourselves, and project it outward for others to see. We’ve been seeing ourselves from the view of a tea-light when we have the potential to see the whole cave.
“Do not fear, for the Universe is inside you.” -Rumi
Note lovelies: I have dealt with a great deal of loneliness in my life, so please know there is nothing wrong with you; we have been there and we feel you. If you’re in such a place right now remember you are never alone, ever. You are infinitely connected to all of us, all you need to do is bring your awareness into that space. Please feel free to reach out in our forums and/or share your story in the comments <3
With so much love,
Frith, C.D., & Frith, U. (2000). The physiological ba-sis of theory of mind. In S. Baron-Cohen, H. Tager-Flusberg, & D. Cohen (Eds.), Understand- ing other minds: Perspective from developmental neuroscience (pp. 335â€“356). Oxford, England: Oxford University Press.
Harrison, Steven. Being One: Finding Our Self in Relationship. New York: Crossroad Pub., 1999. Print